I Wasn't Fluent in English, but I Still Spoke Up for My Child

As a mother, I had to find the courage to speak up for my children.

I wasn’t fluent in English, but I went to the school and spoke in my African English so my voice would be heard. My child was facing serious difficulties, and I felt the school wasn’t giving them the support they needed. So I kept going back. I asked questions. I appealed decisions, even when it would have been easier to stop.

The journey was painful. I put my education and career on hold for a year and a half to teach my children at home. It was a lonely and painful time, but I stood by them. And when they were settled, I went back to my own studies and kept working towards my own future.

That is my story. And it is why I want to remind every parent, especially those of us who are foreigners: listen when your children tell you what is happening at school. Believe them, support them and follow up. They need to know you are standing beside them.

I found the courage to speak

Going to school to speak up for your child can feel daunting, especially when you are not fluent in the language being spoken around you. I know what it is to walk into that situation and still make sure my voice is heard.

I spoke in my African English. It was my voice, and I used it to stand up for my child.

You do not have to speak perfect English to care deeply, to ask questions or to make your concerns known. Your accent does not make your words less important. Your child needs you to be present, and you deserve to be heard.

The journey was painful, and I mean that honestly. There were setbacks at every turn. At one point I even fell at the train station on my way to fight for my child and injured my knee. I still have the scar today. But a scar is not a reason to give up. It is a reminder that I did not.

I appealed decisions I believed were wrong. I kept asking questions until I understood the answers. I am sharing that honestly because speaking up is not always easy or simple. Sometimes it takes strength just to keep showing up.

But I kept showing up.

Listen when your child tells you something is wrong

When a child tries to tell you what is happening at school, they need to know they have your attention. A calm moment and a listening ear can help them feel safe enough to share.

Try to give them time to speak in their own way. You do not need to have every answer straight away. You can begin with simple words: I’m listening. I believe you. We will work through this together.

Children may find it hard to explain what has happened. They may share a little at a time, or need reassurance before they can say more. Let them know they can come back to you. A conversation does not have to be perfect to matter.

Listening also means taking their concerns seriously. A child who tells you something is happening at school needs to know they will not be dismissed or blamed for speaking up. They need to feel that home is a safe place to share what is on their mind.

Believe them and stand beside them

Believing your child does not mean you need to have every detail or know the next step immediately. It means responding with care and letting them know you are taking what they say seriously.

Your child should not have to face a difficult situation alone. They need to know you are willing to support them and help them seek the right assistance. That reassurance matters: I am on your side. You can talk to me. We will take this seriously.

If you disagree with a decision the school has made, it is okay to appeal it. Ask for the decision to be explained, put your concerns in writing if you can, and keep a record of the conversations you have. You are allowed to keep going back until your child gets the support they need.

For parents who may be dealing with bullying, the NSPCC’s advice for families offers guidance on supporting a child. If you are in England, GOV.UK explains how to report bullying at school. These resources can help you consider practical next steps, alongside your own knowledge of your child and situation.

Follow up, even when it feels difficult

Speaking up is important, and following up can be part of supporting your child too. If you have raised a concern with the school, make sure you understand what the next step is and how you can stay in touch. If something is unclear, it is okay to ask for it to be explained again.

You can write down what you want to say before a conversation. You might note the concerns you want to raise and the questions you want answered. If English is not your first language, you can ask the school whether support is available to help you communicate. You are allowed to ask for clarity.

These are practical suggestions, not a test you have to pass. There is no perfect script for advocating for your child. What matters is that you keep listening, keep communicating and keep showing your child that you are there.

There may be setbacks. I know that from my own journey. If the first conversation does not resolve everything, it does not mean you have failed. Keep showing up. Keep speaking up. Keep standing beside your child.

Your English does not define your voice

I want other parents to remember this, especially those of us who are foreigners: being less fluent in English does not take away your right to advocate for your child. Speak in the English you have. Ask someone to clarify a point if you need them to. Take a moment to gather your thoughts. Your care for your child is not measured by perfect grammar or confidence in a meeting.

I spoke in my African English and made sure my voice was heard. I hope sharing that encourages another parent who is wondering whether they can speak up. You can. You do not need to wait until you feel completely confident to take the next step.

And if your child is sharing a concern with you, they do not need you to have all the answers at once. They need you to listen, believe them, offer support and follow up. They need to know you will stand beside them.

Keep showing up for your child

The journey was painful. I fell and injured my knee along the way, and I still carry the scar. I put my education and career on hold for a year and a half to teach my children at home. It was lonely at times, but I stood by them. And when they were settled, I returned to my own studies and kept building my own future, one step at a time.

I share that not because every parent’s experience is the same, but because I know how much courage it can take to speak. If you are finding it hard, take the next step you can. Listen to your child. Let them know you believe them. Support them, follow up and keep speaking up. Keep learning too — your children are watching, and your example teaches them not to give up.

For those of us who draw strength from faith, it can be a comfort to remember that we do not have to find courage all by ourselves. One step at a time, we can keep showing up with love and care.

Your children need to know you are standing beside them. Keep speaking up for them. ❤️